Loving The Dark Side

"What you don't own, owns you.
And what you resist, persists."
- - Debbie Ford

I have a question for you - are there parts of you that
you don't like? Even better, are there parts of you that
you hide, even from yourself, because you're ashamed
of them?

If you're a human being, the answer is yes. These parts
of us are what psychologists call the "shadow" and and
we all have them. Today we're going to see how we can
not only acknowledge them, but be grateful for them!

We have to, because as Debbie Ford says, "What you
don't own, owns you."

How can we figure out what these things are? Well,
there's actually a really easy way to find most of them.
Look at the characteristics in others that provoke an
emotional reaction in you.

I don't mean that you just don't appreciate the
behavior. I mean when you feel "Oooh, I just hate
people like that!" you've found a piece of your shadow.

So what don't you like? Is it people that are whiney,
bitchy, arrogant, undependable, always late, act
superior, flashy, non-supportive, self-centered,
fill-in-the-blank? Yep, there's a piece of you like that,
and you don't like it.

There's really two reasons why it's important to
recognize and be grateful for these parts of ourselves.
First, as long as we don't we'll spend lots of energy
hiding them, afraid that someone will find out. That
not only produces inner discord but outer discord.
We can't live authentically because we're denying
parts of ourselves and projecting them on others.

Secondly, if we deny the trait, we miss the gift that it .
contains and this is where gratitude comes in. Often
the trait we don't like is just a positive trait carried to
extremes. We can find self-appreciation in flashy,
protection in arrogance, self-care in self-centered,
compassion in whiney, and so forth. We can reframe
these characteristics in an empowering way. There is
always something in there that has supported or
protected us. It's a gift and we can be grateful for it.

As Debbie Ford says, "Disowning these emotions
and behaviors is giving away our power and our
capacity to be great. When you deny a single aspect
of yourself, you're denying a part of what you need to
be whole."

For much more on how to deal with this, get Debbie's
wonderful book, "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers"
and go to work on your shadow. You'll love the results,
and so will those that love you.

Gratitude for everything!


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