Confront Your Fears and Grow
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
As I sat in the audience listening to motivational speaker Gil Eagles, little did I know that one sentence was about to change my life.
Gil Eagles gave a marvelous presentation that day. He had many valuable things to say. But there was one line -- one absolute gem -- that stands out. Here's what he said:
"If you want to be successful, you must be willing to be uncomfortable."
I'll never forget those words. And Gil was right on the money. To achieve your goals and realize your potential, you must be willing to be uncomfortable -- to do things that you're afraid to do. That's how you develop your potential!
Sounds so simple, doesn't it? And yet, what do most people do when they face a frightening situation or new activity? They back away from the fear. They don't take action. I know... because that's what I did for the first 30 years of my life. And I can tell you without hesitation that it's a losing strategy.
Show me a successful person and I'll show you someone who confronts his or her fears and takes action!
Examining Our Fears
Have you ever been afraid or anxious before trying a new or challenging activity? Has that fear ever stopped you from taking action? I'm sure you've been paralyzed by fear at one time or another in your life. I know I have. That's simply part of being human.
Of course, every person has a different fear threshold. What frightens one person to death might have little impact on someone else. For example, to some, speaking in public or starting a new business is scary. Others might be fearful about asking someone for directions... or for a date. Regardless of how trivial or silly you believe your fears may be, this lesson applies to you.
When I talk about fear, I'm not referring to physical risks that might injure you or endanger your health, such as diving off cliffs in Acapulco or bungee jumping. I'm scared of those things, too -- and I have no plans to do either of them. What I'm talking about here are those challenges that stand in the way of your personal and professional growth. These are the things that scare you -- but which you know are necessary if you're going to get what you want in life.
The Comfort Zone
When you're gripped by fear and anxiety, it's usually because you're stepping out of your comfort zone. Let's take some time to discuss this important concept -- and how it relates to your success and the development of your potential.
Each of us has a comfort zone, a zone of behavior that is familiar to us and where we feel comfortable and safe. Think of your comfort zone as the inside of a circle.
The activities and situations that lie inside the circle are non-threatening and familiar. They're routine, part of your everyday life -- the things you can do with no sweat. In this category are tasks such as speaking to your friends or co-workers or filling out the daily paperwork at your job.
However, you occasionally face experiences or challenges that are outside your comfort zone. These are represented by the "Xs" in the diagram above. The further the "X" is from the circle, the more afraid you are to participate in that activity.
When faced with something outside your comfort zone, you suddenly feel nervous. Your palms become sweaty and your heart pounds. You begin to wonder,
"Will I be able to handle it?
"Will others laugh at me?
"What will my friends and relatives say?"
As you look at the diagram above, what does the "X" represent for you? In other words, what fear is holding you back from reaching the next level of success or fulfillment in your life?
Is it fear of approaching new prospects?
Is it fear about changing careers?
Is it fear about learning new skills?
Is it fear of going back to school?
Is it fear of telling other people what's on your mind?
Is it fear of public speaking?
Whatever that "X" represents for you, just be honest and admit it. My guess is that thousands, if not millions, of people have the very same fear you have! In fact, let's take a closer look at what most people are afraid of.
The Most Common Fears
During many of my presentations, I distribute index cards to the audience members and ask them to write down, anonymously, the fears that are standing in the way of their professional and personal growth. Then, I collect the cards and read them aloud.
What do you think people write on those index cards? In most audiences, regardless of profession or geographical location, the same answers come up again and again. Here are some of the most common fears they identify:
1. Public Speaking or Giving Presentations. In virtually every group, this is the #1 fear. The vast majority of people are terrified about speaking in front of a group of people.
2. Hearing the word "NO" or having their ideas rejected. This response is very common among salespeople, especially those who make cold calls.
3. Changing Jobs or Starting Their Own Business. Over the years, I've noticed that more and more people are listing this fear. We have a lot of unhappy workers in corporate America today, and they yearn for a more satisfying work environment... but they're afraid to do anything about it!
4. Telling Managers or Executives "Negative News" (what the managers orexecutives don't want to hear). This one is self-explanatory.
5. Talking to People in Upper Management. Many entry-level workers and even managers are terrified about speaking to executives in the company. They even hesitate to make "small talk" with the president or CEO of their organization -- for fear they'll say something silly or appear stupid.
6. Fear of Failure. Those who won't try something new for fear that it won't work out. (We'll tackle this issue in more depth in Lesson 11.)
Well, are you surprised by any of the fears on this list? Do you have any of them now -- or have you had them in the past? The truth is, the overwhelming majority of people experience these fears at some point in their lives.
And if you have some fears that weren't on this list, don't worry about it. You are stronger than any of your fears... and you can overcome them!
The "Benefit" Of Backing Away From Your Fears
When confronted with an anxiety-producing event, most people will retreat to avoid the fear and anxiety. That's what I used to do. You see, backing away does relieve the fear and anxiety that would have resulted if you followed through with the activity. For instance, if someone asks you to make a presentation within your company, and you decline, you save yourself the sleepless nights you'd have worrying about it... and the nervousness you'd experience in the days leading up to the presentation.
In fact, I've found that's the one and only benefit you get by retreating -- a momentary avoidance of anxiety.
Think about it for a moment. Can you list any other benefits that people get when they refuse to confront their fears? I've asked that question of thousands of people, and nobody has been able to come up with any additional benefits. For good reason -- there are none!
The Price You Pay
Now, I want you to seriously consider the price you pay when you back away from those fears that are standing in the way of your growth. Here's what happens:
Your self-esteem is lowered.
You feel powerless and frustrated.
You sabotage your success.
You lead an uneventful, boring life.
Is this a price worth paying for the short-term avoidance of fear and anxiety? Most of us are indeed willing to pay this dear price, simply to avoid temporary discomfort and possible ridicule from others.
Trust me folks, this is insane! In the long run, retreating is not the best way to handle your problem. You'll never be highly successful or develop your talents to the fullest unless you're willing to confront your fears.
My High School Strategy
When I was in high school, I was pretty shy and didn't feel very good about myself. But I was never rejected when it came to asking someone for a date. If you were looking at me now, you'd probably be thinking, "He's not bad looking, but he's certainly no Tom Cruise."
My strategy was really quite simple. I never asked anyone out on a date. You see, I wasn't going to let anyone reject me. And what did I accomplish? I felt horrible about myself. I knew that I had "wimped out." I felt powerless, and as you can imagine, I didn't have a full social calendar. I was sabotaging my success!
Because I refused to face my fear, I remained in the background while most of my friends and classmates went out on dates. How do you think that made me feel? Pretty lousy, just as you'd expect. In case you're wondering, I did have a few dates during that period of my life, but only when other people arranged them. I wasn't going to allow anyone to say "NO" to me. In reality I was saying "NO" to myself.
Can you see how my strategy of backing away from my fears worked against me? Now it's true that if I had asked some people for a date in high school, a few of them might have said "NO." But you know what? I wouldn't have died! I could have asked another person... and another... and eventually I would have gotten a "YES."
It wasn't until college that I began to take some "baby steps" to confront this fear of rejection. Little by little, I gained more confidence. And in law school, I had the good fortune to meet Dolores, and we've been married for 18 years!
A New Life
I'm really no different from you. I have my fears, just as you do. And when I look back at the first 30 years of my life, you know what I see? I see someone who achieved some degree of success as an attorney. But I also see someone who was shy, insecure, scared and self-conscious. Does that sound to you like someone who's a motivational speaker?
What turned my life around... and improved it a million-fold... is that I learned to confront my fears and take action. I realized after years of frustration and disappointments that hiding from my fears wasn't getting me anywhere -- and it would never get me anywhere.
Of course, I wouldn't have confronted my fears if I hadn't first developed a positive attitude. A "can-do" attitude provided me with the extra push I needed to take action. When you believe you can do something, you have the courage to move forward despite being afraid.
Armed with a great attitude, I decided to become a participant in life and to explore my potential, even though I was scared. From the very beginning, I felt so much better about myself. I had taken control of my life, and all sorts of possibilities opened up for me.
Are you beginning to see the incredible rewards you can receive when you're willing to develop a positive attitude and confront your fears?
Reframe The Situation
If I could give you a way to confront uncomfortable situations without fear or anxiety, you'd be ecstatic and eternally grateful, wouldn't you? Sorry, but there's no such magical solution. I can't wave a magic wand and take away your fears.
How then can you muster the courage to do those things that you fear, but which are necessary for your success and growth?
The next time you face a scary situation, I suggest you take a different outlook. Most people start thinking, "I won't be able to do this well and other people may laugh at me or reject me." They get hung up about how well they're going to perform. Because of these worries, they decide to retreat. While you should always go in with a positive attitude and prepare beforehand to the extent possible, don't be overly concerned with the result.
Consider yourself an immediate winner when you take the step and do the thing you fear. That's right. You're a winner just by entering the arena and participating, regardless of the result.
Moving Forward Even When You're Afraid
For instance, let's assume you're afraid to speak in public, but you confront your fear and do it anyway. The moment you get up and speak before the audience, you're a winner. Your knees may be shaking and your voice may be quivering. That doesn't matter. You faced your fear and accepted the challenge. Congratulations are in order. The likely result is that your self-esteem will be enhanced and you'll feel exhilarated.
On your first attempt, you won't be hailed as the world's finest speaker. So what? Let's face it. You can't expect to be an accomplished speaker during your first presentation. Were you a great tennis player after your first game? Or a great swimmer the first time you entered the water? Developing any skill takes time.
I remember my first motivational speech. That was in 1988... and my performance was nothing to write home about! I gave a free talk to a group of real estate salespeople, and let me tell you, I was terrified. I couldn't take my eyes off my notes. Fortunately, the content of my presentation was very solid and the audience responded well. But I had a long way to go before I could call myself a good speaker.
On the second presentation, I was a little better. And when I had done five or so presentations, I began to rely less and less on my notes... and to develop a stronger connection with the audience. Now, 11 years later, I'm a professional speaker who speaks to thousands of people each year throughout the United States.
But let's not forget that it all started with a scared guy who gave a very unimpressive talk in 1988.
She Followed Her Dream
I'd like to tell you a story about a woman who knows a lot about breaking out of a comfort zone. Her name is Dottie Burman, and for 32 years Dottie was a high school English teacher in New York. Yet, since the age of 10, she wanted to go into show business. She never gave it serious thought as a career and instead chose the security of teaching, with its regular paycheck and benefits.
While working as a teacher, Dottie began to write songs and perform them. It was just a hobby, but it kept her dream alive. Then, in the late 1980s, Dottie made a decision. She would retire from teaching and pursue a new career as a performer. In the summer of 1988, she submitted her resignation. Then the terror really hit her. She was so scared about venturing into the unknown that she withdrew her resignation and went back to teaching.
But something inside Dottie wouldn't let her dream die. Six months later, in January of 1989, she confronted her fear and retired. In 1992, Dottie developed and performed her own one-woman musical show. The show was based on her fears of leaving a secure teaching job to go into show business!
And in the spring of 1998, Dottie released her marvelous CD, I'm in Love With My Computer, a collection of witty, inspirational songs. She also performed these songs in a musical revue in a cabaret in New York City -- and continues to present her programs of original songs and stories in theaters and cabarets... as well as for organizations throughout the country.
Dottie will be the first to admit that her career transition has been filled with challenges and setbacks. But has it been worth it? According to Dottie, "I've never been happier in my life."
Bravo, Dottie, for confronting your fears... and inspiring us to follow our dreams!
Just Do It
Ralph Waldo Emerson offered some simple advice, which, if followed, can transform your life. He said, "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain." I know this advice makes good sense, but some people are just too afraid to act. Remember my prior words about the steep price you pay when you let your fears dominate you.
In the end, running away from your fears is a losing strategy. It will only bring you frustration and unhappiness. I can tell you that from personal experience.
There's nothing wrong with having some fears. Successful people have fears. The difference is that successful people take action and move forward despite being afraid. It's not always easy, I'll grant that. But you'll always feel better about yourself when you face your fears.
In the last 14 years, I've had the privilege of traveling throughout the United States and abroad... and of speaking with thousands of people. During all this time, I haven't met one person who confronted his or her fears... took action... and later regretted it. Not a single one! But I've met many people who tell me how much they regret backing away from their fears -- and letting their dreams die.
As my friend Burke Hedges often says, " Don't be one of those who lets his regrets take the place of his dreams."
So, stretch yourself. Confront your fears and be willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle -- with exercise. And when you do an activity outside your comfort zone a few times, you know what happens? That same activity becomes part of your comfort zone!
There's another bonus when you're willing to expand your comfort zone. When you push through fear and take action in some areas of your life, you'll develop confidence in other areas, as well. It's true! As I became more comfortable as a speaker, I also became a better salesman... a better businessman... a better listener... the list goes on and on.
You can try to dance around it all you want. But you won't develop your abilities to the fullest unless you're willing to be uncomfortable. Life doesn't reward those who refuse to expose themselves to difficulties and challenges. It's important that you put yourself in a position to win -- and that means taking action despite fear.
Confront your fears... and you're on the way to developing your potential and leading the exciting, fulfilling life you deserve. It's a decision you'll never regret!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
Daily Secrets For Success
Many years ago a movement swept through America. The call went out to all who had the courage and vision to "Head West". What a picture was drawn for them... The West is where you want to be. There is land for everyone - for the taking! Beautiful. Fertile. Opportunity for everyone. Don't miss your opportunity to be one of the first to stake your claim!
The call went out and hordes signed up to join the wagon trains pulling out of Independence, Missouri. As the pioneers bought supplies and lined up their wagons, their eyes shone with the excitement of what would be waiting at the end of the trail. I think it fair to say not one of them had a real understanding of what lay between Missouri and the far west they envisioned in their dreams.
Can't you hear the conversation....?
"Why, honey," one confident husband says to his rather nervous wife, "There isn't going to be anything to this. We've got a nice, sturdy wagon. We're all together, and we have plenty of food. We're just going to roll along the trail for a while and soon we'll have everything we've dreamed of. Just think of it!"
I don't know how long before the starry looks faded from their eyes - somewhere between broken wagon wheels and Indian attacks. Maybe it was the weevils in the flour, or the snowstorm that left them stranded in the mountains for months on end. Perhaps it was losing a child to illness because there were not enough medical supplies, or simply the fatigue that came from fighting dust, heat and long days of the grueling cruelness of the trail.
Every pioneer who started down the trail, if they didn't die, had one of three things happen. Some gave up and turned back. Others decided they couldn't take any more and simply built a house where they stopped. Then there were the others... the ones who made it all the way to the West.
Yes, somewhere along the way the starry look faded from their eyes...... faded.... to be replaced by determination. Broken wagon wheels; Indian attacks; weevils; snowstorms; death; fatigue; choking dust and long days. They all became daily obstacles to be endured and overcome, but at some point each person who made it simply decided nothing was going to stop them. They had left behind their former lives to go someplace new. They were going…
________________________________________
So what about you? Do you have a dream? Do you have something you’ve started, but then turned back because it seemed so hard? Or maybe you’re still on the trail, wondering which obstacle will be the one to destroy what you’ve worked so hard for.
Maybe you’re just looking at the trail, thinking, “No way. Not me. That just looks to hard.” Yet your heart yearns to go where the trail will take you.
You have a choice to make every single day. You can stay right where you are, or you can go on an adventure to accomplish what you dream of accomplishing. Not going may seem safer, but the truth is that not going will only assure you stay right where you are in your life.
What do you want? Where do you want to go? The only way to get there is to start your journey – then determine to not let anything stop you.
You can do it
Rex
"If your dream is a big dream, and if you want your life to work on the high level that you say you do, there's no way around doing the work it takes to get you there." ~ Joyce Chapman
The call went out and hordes signed up to join the wagon trains pulling out of Independence, Missouri. As the pioneers bought supplies and lined up their wagons, their eyes shone with the excitement of what would be waiting at the end of the trail. I think it fair to say not one of them had a real understanding of what lay between Missouri and the far west they envisioned in their dreams.
Can't you hear the conversation....?
"Why, honey," one confident husband says to his rather nervous wife, "There isn't going to be anything to this. We've got a nice, sturdy wagon. We're all together, and we have plenty of food. We're just going to roll along the trail for a while and soon we'll have everything we've dreamed of. Just think of it!"
I don't know how long before the starry looks faded from their eyes - somewhere between broken wagon wheels and Indian attacks. Maybe it was the weevils in the flour, or the snowstorm that left them stranded in the mountains for months on end. Perhaps it was losing a child to illness because there were not enough medical supplies, or simply the fatigue that came from fighting dust, heat and long days of the grueling cruelness of the trail.
Every pioneer who started down the trail, if they didn't die, had one of three things happen. Some gave up and turned back. Others decided they couldn't take any more and simply built a house where they stopped. Then there were the others... the ones who made it all the way to the West.
Yes, somewhere along the way the starry look faded from their eyes...... faded.... to be replaced by determination. Broken wagon wheels; Indian attacks; weevils; snowstorms; death; fatigue; choking dust and long days. They all became daily obstacles to be endured and overcome, but at some point each person who made it simply decided nothing was going to stop them. They had left behind their former lives to go someplace new. They were going…
________________________________________
So what about you? Do you have a dream? Do you have something you’ve started, but then turned back because it seemed so hard? Or maybe you’re still on the trail, wondering which obstacle will be the one to destroy what you’ve worked so hard for.
Maybe you’re just looking at the trail, thinking, “No way. Not me. That just looks to hard.” Yet your heart yearns to go where the trail will take you.
You have a choice to make every single day. You can stay right where you are, or you can go on an adventure to accomplish what you dream of accomplishing. Not going may seem safer, but the truth is that not going will only assure you stay right where you are in your life.
What do you want? Where do you want to go? The only way to get there is to start your journey – then determine to not let anything stop you.
You can do it
Rex
"If your dream is a big dream, and if you want your life to work on the high level that you say you do, there's no way around doing the work it takes to get you there." ~ Joyce Chapman
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Decision Time
How do you approach decisions? I used to dread decisions, labouring over the outcomes and flopping back and forth: should I...or shouldn't I? Sometimes I would feel frozen by fear: what if I make a mistake? What if I fail? I would make decisions looking at the current circumstances and resources allowing that to dictate whether or not I would do something. The bank balance, education, calendar, experience...the circumstances drove the decision. What I really wanted and why I wanted it was not in the picture.
What was I doing wrong? I had flabby decision making muscles. So I studied and emulated successful decision makers.
Napoleon Hill interviewed 500 highly effective and successful people in all fields and found that they had a common trait: successful people make decisions quickly and seldom, if ever, change them. They develop a clear image of what they want then take action toward that goal or image.
The word "decision" comes from the Latin "de" (from) and "caedere" (to cut). We must commit ourselves to a result and then cut ourselves off from other outcomes.
Does the decision and outcome scare us? Are we afraid we might fail?
Who was a strikeout king in baseball? Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times.
Who holds a record for missed shots in the NBA? Michael Jordan.
Who said "...you miss 100% of the shots you do not take." Wayne Gretsky
We all make mistakes and fail. That doesn't make us a failure. That is how we learn and gather what we need to achieve goals. Mind and universe require order before action. Decision brings order to our mind and allows it to focus on the actions that move us toward our goal.
Achieving is a decision.
What is your decision?
Rex
"When plans are laid in advance, it is surprising how often the circumstances fit in with them."
Sir William Osler
1849-1919, Physician
What was I doing wrong? I had flabby decision making muscles. So I studied and emulated successful decision makers.
Napoleon Hill interviewed 500 highly effective and successful people in all fields and found that they had a common trait: successful people make decisions quickly and seldom, if ever, change them. They develop a clear image of what they want then take action toward that goal or image.
The word "decision" comes from the Latin "de" (from) and "caedere" (to cut). We must commit ourselves to a result and then cut ourselves off from other outcomes.
Does the decision and outcome scare us? Are we afraid we might fail?
Who was a strikeout king in baseball? Babe Ruth struck out 1330 times.
Who holds a record for missed shots in the NBA? Michael Jordan.
Who said "...you miss 100% of the shots you do not take." Wayne Gretsky
We all make mistakes and fail. That doesn't make us a failure. That is how we learn and gather what we need to achieve goals. Mind and universe require order before action. Decision brings order to our mind and allows it to focus on the actions that move us toward our goal.
Achieving is a decision.
What is your decision?
Rex
"When plans are laid in advance, it is surprising how often the circumstances fit in with them."
Sir William Osler
1849-1919, Physician
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
THE GINGHAM DRESS
A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard
University President's outer office.
The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. "We'd like to see the
president," the man said softly. "He will be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We will wait," the lady replied.
For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.
"Maybe if you see them for a few m inutes, they'll leave," she said to him. He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to
spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.
The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here.
But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus." The president wasn't touched. He was shocked.
"Madam," he said, gruffly, "we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died.. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery." "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have
over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent.
The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it cost to start a university? Why don't we just start our own? " Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.
Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.
You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.
- A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes
---------------------------------------------
I love this story because it is so easy to judge people before you know them. Treat everyone you come in contact with in regard to your business the same way. Never assume you know what is in a person's heart. The people you think could never build a business may be the very one who will blow it out of the water!
University President's outer office.
The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge. "We'd like to see the
president," the man said softly. "He will be busy all day," the secretary snapped. "We will wait," the lady replied.
For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted.
"Maybe if you see them for a few m inutes, they'll leave," she said to him. He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to
spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.
The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him, "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here.
But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus." The president wasn't touched. He was shocked.
"Madam," he said, gruffly, "we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died.. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery." "Oh, no," the lady explained quickly. "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, "A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have
over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent.
The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, "Is that all it cost to start a university? Why don't we just start our own? " Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.
Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.
You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.
- A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes
---------------------------------------------
I love this story because it is so easy to judge people before you know them. Treat everyone you come in contact with in regard to your business the same way. Never assume you know what is in a person's heart. The people you think could never build a business may be the very one who will blow it out of the water!
Sunday, August 5, 2007
What To Do With People Who Don't Buy From You
,
As much as we would like them to, the reality is,
a lot of people simply will not buy from us the first
time they come across our message.
In fact, the majority of them won't.
Even if your offer is EXACTLY what they're
looking for, it's actually quite rare that someone will
buy from you or sign up for your opportunity the
very first time you make contact with them.
This is just something you have to factor into the
equation when you're hammering out your
overall sales process.
Perhaps you've heard this popular mlm phrase
before...
"Some will, some won't, who cares, who's next?"
My upline in one of my former companies used to
embed this saying into our heads every chance they
got. The idea being that if someone isn't interested,
you're supposed to just forget about them and
move on to the next person.
Aside from the fact that we weren't talking to the
right people in the first place, this has to be some of
the most damaging marketing advice I've ever fallen
victim to.
If you don't have a systemized follow up procedure
in place for every single one of your prospects,
you're leaving untold amounts of money on the
table.
A good follow up sequence can EASILY quadruple
your sales because rather than just being able to sell
to the same person once, you can sell to them 5
times... 10 times... even 100 times.
The fortune truly is in the follow up.
Now here's another popular saying you may have
heard:
"A prospect has to see your message at least 7 times
before they actually buy."
While it certainly is true that your prospects need
repeated exposures to your offer before they will
decide to take action on it...
Merely SEEING your message isn't enough.
Unfortunately, this "7 times rule of thumb" only
paints half the picture. Many people implement it
the wrong way.
See, when you follow up with someone, you cannot
continue to hit them up with a sales pitch every
time.
If a plain old sales pitch was enough, they would
have bought the first time. Seeing or hearing it 7
more times isn't going to do the trick.
The reason they didn't buy the first time around is
because they weren't convinced that you'll really be
able to deliver what your sales pitch promises.
You have to prove it to them.
The way this is done is by educating them and
showing them you know what you're talking about
BEFORE they ever do business with you.
The purpose of the follow up is to build trust and
credibility because these are some of the biggest
obstacles that hold anyone back from making a
purchase.
Every time you contact someone, each message
should sell them on the idea that their time and
money will be well spent with you not because
you asked for it, but because you gave them
valuable information for free.
This information has to be genuinely useful to them
regardless of whether or not they ever buy from you.
This is the only way follow up becomes effective
and how you get your message in front of people,
because prospects don't pay attention to pitches,
they pay attention to value.
When your messages become educational rather
than confrontational, all resistance melts. The
natural defenses that every person has against being
sold disappear.
So the next time you communicate with someone,
just picture their busy schedule with ten million
things on their to do list. Ask yourself if what you're
trying to say is something they could easily dismiss
and relinquish to the junk folder... or... if it's
something they won't be able to ignore because it
would immediately improve their lives in some way
the moment they read it.
To Your Success,
Rex
P.S. - The best part about this "under the radar"
style of marketing is that it's a far more powerful
(not to mention more enjoyable) way of selling
someone than actually, deliberately trying to sell
them!
The choices I make today will determine the rest of my life!
As much as we would like them to, the reality is,
a lot of people simply will not buy from us the first
time they come across our message.
In fact, the majority of them won't.
Even if your offer is EXACTLY what they're
looking for, it's actually quite rare that someone will
buy from you or sign up for your opportunity the
very first time you make contact with them.
This is just something you have to factor into the
equation when you're hammering out your
overall sales process.
Perhaps you've heard this popular mlm phrase
before...
"Some will, some won't, who cares, who's next?"
My upline in one of my former companies used to
embed this saying into our heads every chance they
got. The idea being that if someone isn't interested,
you're supposed to just forget about them and
move on to the next person.
Aside from the fact that we weren't talking to the
right people in the first place, this has to be some of
the most damaging marketing advice I've ever fallen
victim to.
If you don't have a systemized follow up procedure
in place for every single one of your prospects,
you're leaving untold amounts of money on the
table.
A good follow up sequence can EASILY quadruple
your sales because rather than just being able to sell
to the same person once, you can sell to them 5
times... 10 times... even 100 times.
The fortune truly is in the follow up.
Now here's another popular saying you may have
heard:
"A prospect has to see your message at least 7 times
before they actually buy."
While it certainly is true that your prospects need
repeated exposures to your offer before they will
decide to take action on it...
Merely SEEING your message isn't enough.
Unfortunately, this "7 times rule of thumb" only
paints half the picture. Many people implement it
the wrong way.
See, when you follow up with someone, you cannot
continue to hit them up with a sales pitch every
time.
If a plain old sales pitch was enough, they would
have bought the first time. Seeing or hearing it 7
more times isn't going to do the trick.
The reason they didn't buy the first time around is
because they weren't convinced that you'll really be
able to deliver what your sales pitch promises.
You have to prove it to them.
The way this is done is by educating them and
showing them you know what you're talking about
BEFORE they ever do business with you.
The purpose of the follow up is to build trust and
credibility because these are some of the biggest
obstacles that hold anyone back from making a
purchase.
Every time you contact someone, each message
should sell them on the idea that their time and
money will be well spent with you not because
you asked for it, but because you gave them
valuable information for free.
This information has to be genuinely useful to them
regardless of whether or not they ever buy from you.
This is the only way follow up becomes effective
and how you get your message in front of people,
because prospects don't pay attention to pitches,
they pay attention to value.
When your messages become educational rather
than confrontational, all resistance melts. The
natural defenses that every person has against being
sold disappear.
So the next time you communicate with someone,
just picture their busy schedule with ten million
things on their to do list. Ask yourself if what you're
trying to say is something they could easily dismiss
and relinquish to the junk folder... or... if it's
something they won't be able to ignore because it
would immediately improve their lives in some way
the moment they read it.
To Your Success,
Rex
P.S. - The best part about this "under the radar"
style of marketing is that it's a far more powerful
(not to mention more enjoyable) way of selling
someone than actually, deliberately trying to sell
them!
The choices I make today will determine the rest of my life!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
The Four "Proper P's" for $ucce$$ in Network Marketing
The four "Proper P's" are an integral part of creating $ucce$$ in your MLM business.
If you master them, you can create any amount of income you desire.
They must ALL be done simultaneously and they must be done well.
If any "P" is left out, the results will be mediocre at best.
More than likely, failure will result.
The First "Proper P" is Proper Perspective.
To make money in network marketing you must have or acquire the Proper Perspective about several things. Here is a list of the more important ones:
· Network marketing is a great business that provides a way to generate more income per dollar and per hour invested than any other business out there.
It is here to stay - and anyone who says otherwise to these statements is ignorant of the facts.
· You are in this business to make money from a successful Downline. That is simply a fact and perfectly acceptable. You are not to run your business as a not-for-profit charity designed to "help" everyone with whatever your products do. That is just one of the parts of your business.
To create serious income, your main job must be to create a distribution force to help you move and sell products that you love and believe in to the world.
You can't move enough volume by yourself to earn a big income, so you need to enlist the help of others to help you do that. And you will see that they are paid very well (by the company, because they are independent distributors qualified to receive cheques from the company).
· The secret to making money in network marketing is having the ability to build an organization of people who are doing three things:
1) Using the products
2) Retailing the products
3) Building a Downline organization of people doing 1 and 2.
· Loving the products and being able to share their benefits is not the way to wealth in network marketing. It is only part of it.
· You must be confident and believe that you are worth listening to about the business as well as the products.
· It does not take a cheque from the company to give you credibility about the opportunity - even if you have been in the business for several years and don't have a great track record - yet.
· You do not have to experience every benefit a product can provide before you can confidently talk about the business and products. (I have never had PMS or migraine headaches but I could certainly, with total confidence, present products that could help with those things. Same with the income side of your business)
· You don't need to be a nutritionist or heath expert to make money in network marketing.
· There is no "easy way" to do network marketing. It is hard work and takes certain skills that you must have already or acquire.
· Network marketing takes a lot of time and some money on a steady basis.
· Your Upline is not the reason you will be successful. Their job is to find you and shorten your learning curve. The rest is up to you.
· You are an Independent distributor. Too many people are dependent non-distributors. Basically, they are happy users of products and become professional meeting attendees, neither of which generates much, if any, income
- let alone large cheques.
The Second "Proper P" is Proper Prospecting. Not just yours, but your new distributors' as well. When a new distributor signs up (assuming they are interested in making money), you should include in their purchase of products the prospecting tools they need to successfully interest all their warm market and those they will contact in the future. You want them to begin prospecting immediately. Why? That's where the money is for them and for you.
The Third "Proper P" is Proper Presentation. You must find out what your prospects' Core Desires are and show them how your company and products can give them those things. You must come across confident and excited about the future you and they can have if they participate with you. Always dress and look sharp.
The Fourth "Proper P" is Persistence. You must be willing do whatever it takes -
for as long as it takes - or you may give up too soon. This kind of persistence is automatic only IF what you're persisting in is a Core Desire. This perspective about persistence needs to be taught to and instilled in your brand new distributor from day one. So many people give up before they learn how to be successful. The failures and challenges that are inherent in network marketing cause them to get discouraged, so they back off, slow down and quit.
John Taylor, a religious leader of one of the largest churches in the world, said this about persistence: "That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our ability to do it has increased."
I add to that - this can be a very short learning curve if it is something you really want with all your heart and you find a mentor to teach you.
Use these four "Proper P's" as your guide from now on and teach them to your organization you will experience the joy of a $ucce$$ful network marketing distributorship.
If you master them, you can create any amount of income you desire.
They must ALL be done simultaneously and they must be done well.
If any "P" is left out, the results will be mediocre at best.
More than likely, failure will result.
The First "Proper P" is Proper Perspective.
To make money in network marketing you must have or acquire the Proper Perspective about several things. Here is a list of the more important ones:
· Network marketing is a great business that provides a way to generate more income per dollar and per hour invested than any other business out there.
It is here to stay - and anyone who says otherwise to these statements is ignorant of the facts.
· You are in this business to make money from a successful Downline. That is simply a fact and perfectly acceptable. You are not to run your business as a not-for-profit charity designed to "help" everyone with whatever your products do. That is just one of the parts of your business.
To create serious income, your main job must be to create a distribution force to help you move and sell products that you love and believe in to the world.
You can't move enough volume by yourself to earn a big income, so you need to enlist the help of others to help you do that. And you will see that they are paid very well (by the company, because they are independent distributors qualified to receive cheques from the company).
· The secret to making money in network marketing is having the ability to build an organization of people who are doing three things:
1) Using the products
2) Retailing the products
3) Building a Downline organization of people doing 1 and 2.
· Loving the products and being able to share their benefits is not the way to wealth in network marketing. It is only part of it.
· You must be confident and believe that you are worth listening to about the business as well as the products.
· It does not take a cheque from the company to give you credibility about the opportunity - even if you have been in the business for several years and don't have a great track record - yet.
· You do not have to experience every benefit a product can provide before you can confidently talk about the business and products. (I have never had PMS or migraine headaches but I could certainly, with total confidence, present products that could help with those things. Same with the income side of your business)
· You don't need to be a nutritionist or heath expert to make money in network marketing.
· There is no "easy way" to do network marketing. It is hard work and takes certain skills that you must have already or acquire.
· Network marketing takes a lot of time and some money on a steady basis.
· Your Upline is not the reason you will be successful. Their job is to find you and shorten your learning curve. The rest is up to you.
· You are an Independent distributor. Too many people are dependent non-distributors. Basically, they are happy users of products and become professional meeting attendees, neither of which generates much, if any, income
- let alone large cheques.
The Second "Proper P" is Proper Prospecting. Not just yours, but your new distributors' as well. When a new distributor signs up (assuming they are interested in making money), you should include in their purchase of products the prospecting tools they need to successfully interest all their warm market and those they will contact in the future. You want them to begin prospecting immediately. Why? That's where the money is for them and for you.
The Third "Proper P" is Proper Presentation. You must find out what your prospects' Core Desires are and show them how your company and products can give them those things. You must come across confident and excited about the future you and they can have if they participate with you. Always dress and look sharp.
The Fourth "Proper P" is Persistence. You must be willing do whatever it takes -
for as long as it takes - or you may give up too soon. This kind of persistence is automatic only IF what you're persisting in is a Core Desire. This perspective about persistence needs to be taught to and instilled in your brand new distributor from day one. So many people give up before they learn how to be successful. The failures and challenges that are inherent in network marketing cause them to get discouraged, so they back off, slow down and quit.
John Taylor, a religious leader of one of the largest churches in the world, said this about persistence: "That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do. Not that the nature of the thing has changed, but that our ability to do it has increased."
I add to that - this can be a very short learning curve if it is something you really want with all your heart and you find a mentor to teach you.
Use these four "Proper P's" as your guide from now on and teach them to your organization you will experience the joy of a $ucce$$ful network marketing distributorship.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Laws Of Success
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(1)-- Law of CAUSE & EFFECT - This is an orderly universe. There are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. For every effect there's a cause or a set of causes.
[Note: This is the "granddaddy" law from which all other laws in every field flow. It has been variously called the "Law of Sowing and Reaping"- the "Law of Action and Reaction"- the "Law of Compensation" - and the "Socratic Law."]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(2)=> Law of MIND - Thoughts objectify themselves. We 'become' what we 'think about'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(3)=> Law of MENTAL EQUIVALENCY - To achieve success in any area, we must have a 'clear image' of that success in our mind a mental picture of our idea of success - a vision.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(4)=> Law of CORRESPONDENCE - Our outer life will mirror our 'inner' life. There is a 'direct correspondence' between our experiences and our thoughts and attitudes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(5)=> Law of BELIEF - Whatever we believe - deeply - becomes our reality.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(6)=> Law of VALUES - What we truly value and believe in is reflected in our 'actions', even though our 'words' may say otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(7)=> Law of MOTIVATION - Everything we do is triggered by our inner desires, urges and instincts - many are subconscious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(8)=> Law of SUBCONSCIOUS ACTIVITY - Our subconscious mind 'alerts us to things around us' - consistent with our dominant desires and concerns.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(9)=> Law of EXPECTATIONS - What we 'expect with confidence' tends to materialize.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(10)=> Law of CONCENTRATION - Whatever we concentrate on - and think about repeatedly - becomes more a part of our inner life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(11)=> Law of HABIT - Virtually all that we do is automatic - the result of habit. Habits that move us 'away' from our goals must be 'changed'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(12)=> Law of ATTRACTION - We are 'living magnets'. We attract people, events and circumstances that 'harmonize with our dominant thoughts'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(13)=> Law of CHOICE - We are free to choose what we think about - and therefore 'free to choose all other parts of our life'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(14)=> Law of OPTIMISM - A positive mental attitude 'goes' with success and happiness. Optimism makes us cheerful and pleasant - and more 'likely' to succeed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(15)=> Law of CHANGE - All things are changing - nothing is fixed. If we don't take advantage' of change - we will be the victims of change!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(16)=> Law of CONTROL - We feel positive about ourselves to the extent that we feel we 'are in control' of our lives.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(17)=> Law of RESPONSIBILITY - WE are 'fully responsible' for everything we are - everything we have - everything we become - and everything we achieve.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(18)=> Law of COMPENSATION - Whatever we put in - we will get out 'we will always be compensated in full' for whatever we do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(19)=> Law of SERVICE - Our rewards in this life will be in direct proportion to 'the value of our service to others'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(20)=> Law of APPLIED EFFORT - All things are amenable to hard work - in fact, 'the harder we work, the luckier we get'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(21)=> Law of OVER-COMPENSATION - We must always put in more than we take out - or we'll never take out more than we're getting now ('do more' than we're paid for - to 'get paid more' for what we do).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(22)=> Law of PREPARATION - 'Perfect performance comes from painstaking preparation'. Real pros take more time than others to prepare.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(23)=> Law of FORCED EFFICIENCY - The more we take on - the more efficient we'll be. While there's never enough time to do everything - 'there's always enough time to do the important things'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(24)=> Law of DECISION - Every great leap forward springs from 'a clear decision to ACT'. And if we act boldly - unseen forces will come to our aid.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(25)=> Law of CREATIVITY - Every advance begins with an idea in one person's mind. Whatever 'our mind can conceive and truly believe, it CAN achieve'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(26)=> Law of FLEXIBILITY - Success is best achieved when we are 'clear about the goal, but flexible' about how to get there. Inflexibility can lead us to missed opportunities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(27)=> Law of PERSISTENCE - Our ability to persist - despite setbacks and disappointments - affirms y=our belief in y=ourself. Persistence is the iron quality of Success.
(1)-- Law of CAUSE & EFFECT - This is an orderly universe. There are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. For every effect there's a cause or a set of causes.
[Note: This is the "granddaddy" law from which all other laws in every field flow. It has been variously called the "Law of Sowing and Reaping"- the "Law of Action and Reaction"- the "Law of Compensation" - and the "Socratic Law."]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(2)=> Law of MIND - Thoughts objectify themselves. We 'become' what we 'think about'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(3)=> Law of MENTAL EQUIVALENCY - To achieve success in any area, we must have a 'clear image' of that success in our mind a mental picture of our idea of success - a vision.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(4)=> Law of CORRESPONDENCE - Our outer life will mirror our 'inner' life. There is a 'direct correspondence' between our experiences and our thoughts and attitudes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(5)=> Law of BELIEF - Whatever we believe - deeply - becomes our reality.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(6)=> Law of VALUES - What we truly value and believe in is reflected in our 'actions', even though our 'words' may say otherwise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(7)=> Law of MOTIVATION - Everything we do is triggered by our inner desires, urges and instincts - many are subconscious.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(8)=> Law of SUBCONSCIOUS ACTIVITY - Our subconscious mind 'alerts us to things around us' - consistent with our dominant desires and concerns.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(9)=> Law of EXPECTATIONS - What we 'expect with confidence' tends to materialize.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(10)=> Law of CONCENTRATION - Whatever we concentrate on - and think about repeatedly - becomes more a part of our inner life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(11)=> Law of HABIT - Virtually all that we do is automatic - the result of habit. Habits that move us 'away' from our goals must be 'changed'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(12)=> Law of ATTRACTION - We are 'living magnets'. We attract people, events and circumstances that 'harmonize with our dominant thoughts'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(13)=> Law of CHOICE - We are free to choose what we think about - and therefore 'free to choose all other parts of our life'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(14)=> Law of OPTIMISM - A positive mental attitude 'goes' with success and happiness. Optimism makes us cheerful and pleasant - and more 'likely' to succeed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(15)=> Law of CHANGE - All things are changing - nothing is fixed. If we don't take advantage' of change - we will be the victims of change!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(16)=> Law of CONTROL - We feel positive about ourselves to the extent that we feel we 'are in control' of our lives.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(17)=> Law of RESPONSIBILITY - WE are 'fully responsible' for everything we are - everything we have - everything we become - and everything we achieve.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(18)=> Law of COMPENSATION - Whatever we put in - we will get out 'we will always be compensated in full' for whatever we do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(19)=> Law of SERVICE - Our rewards in this life will be in direct proportion to 'the value of our service to others'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(20)=> Law of APPLIED EFFORT - All things are amenable to hard work - in fact, 'the harder we work, the luckier we get'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(21)=> Law of OVER-COMPENSATION - We must always put in more than we take out - or we'll never take out more than we're getting now ('do more' than we're paid for - to 'get paid more' for what we do).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(22)=> Law of PREPARATION - 'Perfect performance comes from painstaking preparation'. Real pros take more time than others to prepare.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(23)=> Law of FORCED EFFICIENCY - The more we take on - the more efficient we'll be. While there's never enough time to do everything - 'there's always enough time to do the important things'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(24)=> Law of DECISION - Every great leap forward springs from 'a clear decision to ACT'. And if we act boldly - unseen forces will come to our aid.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(25)=> Law of CREATIVITY - Every advance begins with an idea in one person's mind. Whatever 'our mind can conceive and truly believe, it CAN achieve'.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(26)=> Law of FLEXIBILITY - Success is best achieved when we are 'clear about the goal, but flexible' about how to get there. Inflexibility can lead us to missed opportunities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(27)=> Law of PERSISTENCE - Our ability to persist - despite setbacks and disappointments - affirms y=our belief in y=ourself. Persistence is the iron quality of Success.
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